Children Manage Divorce

What's It When Divorce Happens?


Divorce is not a pleasant time for anyone in the family. It is very hard on the children. Young kids, babies, toddlers as well as the teenagers feel the impact.

Have you thought about what bothers your child about your divorce? Some think it is the divorce. The word divorce has its own vibration and stirs up all kinds of feelings. That's what bothers your child. Those feelings the divorce stirs up and the changes that happen.

How your child handles your divorce depends on what you do to help. Each child has unique needs. What your child does depends on the age when the divorce occurs and what he/she understands about life in general. Reactions your child gives about your divorce vary. With your help your child can get through this experience and manage the feelings that get stirred to bring about the best possible results.

No matter how young or how old they are, your kids have feelings about the changes in their family lifestyle. What will you as their parents do about it?

What you as the parents will do about how the children feel about the changes your divorce brings depends on what you know. Right? We understand that during the early period of the separation and divorce, your feelings are running high. Probably the last thing you'll want to do is deal with your children and their feelings.

One thing, if you are not already aware, is this. If you fail to take your children step-by-step with you as you go through the changes that come with the divorce, their behaviors will change on you. Changes in their behaviors are signals to what they are feeling. Help your children deal with the feelings early on so you can avoid serious problems in the long term.

Why put attention on the divorce and its impact on children?

Your child's feelings about the divorce turn into difficult behaviors if not faced and resolved at the feelings level. The feelings will remain with the child long after they forget the sting of the divorce. This means these feelings stay with the child into adulthood and even old age.

These feelings and the passions built up with them bring a variety of undesired experiences into their lives. These feelings when left unresolved keep the child as an adult from feeling pure joy.


Our series of workbooks are for children, teenagers and for parents, entitled: IT'S DIFFERENT NOW! But I Love My Mom and Dad! These workbooks are available in hard copy, in a document file (Microsoft Word) and in a set of slide shows (PowerPoint).

The kids are encouraged to write and draw in response to certain questions in their books. We also encourage them to write plays and skits as well as poems. We use one major imagery in the workbooks, that of Love Energy. We do this as a way to help the kids feel better. We encourage the kids to use Love Energy to free themselves of fears and pains as they experience them.

Workbooks for parents contain key information pointing out what children understand about divorce and what their possible reactions may be. Parents find strategies to help their infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, young school age kids as well as pre-teens and adolescents.We recognize that parents have feelings too, so we help them look at their own feelings. As they resolve their own feelings they can help their children do the same.

In these workbooks, we point out many short and long term effects of divorce on children and what parents can do to remedy these effects. Also, you will find key information about what parents go through in the feelings area. Sometimes you are so busy "feeling" that you do not have the time to see what that is and how it impacts you or your children. Our intent with the exercises in the parents' workbooks is that you will resolve the issues that come after the divorce. That you have the divorce is one matter and is a decision left in the ranks of the couple only. The divorce itself is not the problem, the problem is in the adjustment to it.

The following titles are in the series as they become available:

It's Different Now! But I Love My Mom and Dad

  • A Workbook for Kids

  • A Workbook for Teens

  • A Workbook for Parents

  • A Workbook for Moms

  • A Workbook for Dads

  • A Workbook for Grandparents

  • A Workbook for Kids Who Do Not See Their Dads

  • A Workbook for Adults Looking Back On Their Parents' Divorce

  • A Workbook for Counselors

Among special features of It's Different Now! ... are our customized workbooks which contain personalized information. Such items are:

  • child's name and what name child is called

  • who gave the book;

  • which parent the child lives with or

  • names of other grown-ups when child lives away from home

  • the name of the parent who no longer lives in the home;

  • sisters and brothers in the home;

  • sisters and brothers living with the other parent

  • names of relatives and what child calls them

  • name of child's school

  • name of area where child lives and where child usually plays

  • any changes in behavior child has experienced since the divorce

Email indoma@phoenixcon.net with your questions about these outstanding workbooks.

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Sunday, February 18, 2001 05:45 PM

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